Power down

So the blog got neglected for a while again there I see, but in all honesty, this in large part was because when I was halfway through the last post I was writing I stopped and thought to myself "hey, that website that's pretty good that pays people to write things might be interested in this", and so I stopped writing it here and sent an email to that site and they said sure, sounds good, and so I wrote it over there instead, and lo. The money part is yet to be completed, but I gather it is in the metaphorical mail.

This is sort of a landmark in that will sort of be the first time (that I can recall) that I have been paid to write something, except of course in another, very realistic way, it's no kind of landmark at all, as for some time now, I have been paid to write things virtually every day of the year. It's certainly interesting to me that it definitely feels like a different thing, but ultimately, the difference between a "writer" and a copywriter is that the latter probably has children to feed.

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I was sort of told off recently for making jokes, possibly preventing someone from getting something taken seriously. I can see how that is probably frustrating for that person. The thing that I found interesting is that despite knowing that, I found it really difficult to care one iota about their complaint.

I long ago came to terms with my almost total inability to appear to take anything seriously. I have examined myself pretty dispassionately and extensively in this area, I think. I can take things seriously (rarely), but even when I do, I doubt I appear to, because my first instinct is always – no, always – to undercut a serious tone, a serious remark, or a serious situation with humour, or at the very least, snark (which sometimes only makes things worse). If I was a wrestler, my name would be The Undercutter. I think that my family and close friends ever come across one of those situations where you go "Jeez, are they joking here or what?" with me, they know that the answer is "Is Ben communicating in some way? Then he is joking, because he is always joking."

I've long since made peace with the fact that this is what I do. I also know from long experience that as an approach to life, it has its certain ups, but also its many downs. 

So I guess whenever people actually take me aside to say "Hey stop joking so much, it's annoying!" (which hardly ever happens: I'm sure it's annoyed many people over the years but I'm hardly ever confronted about it), this is kind of what I hear: "Hey Ben, why aren't you just turning it off at will?"  

Dear complainant: it's because there is no turning it off.

Remember those life ups and life downs that come from being an eternal piss-taker? Sure you do! So why not just apply your undercutting to achieving all the ups it can bring and just leave it aside when needed to avoid the downs, Ben? That's great, what a perfect idea! Why I haven't I thought of that? Oh, I have already except there is no turning it off.

People have written at length and more eloquently than me about the pathology of humourous people (here's a good one recently). I won't claim to have had a terrible life up until now or anything, although a lot of these stories/theories ring bells, but whatever the reasons are, these automated instincts are now integral to my construction as a person. I've done extensive building inspections, and they're doing a lot of weight-bearing all the way down there in the lower foundations; to remove or even upgrade them at this point with all that's since been piled on top, I'm pretty sure you'd have to essentially knock the whole building down.

So sorry that I didn't take your request seriously, person who wanted to take something seriously. Symptomatic, you see. But if my response also seemed a bit "Pfffft, whatever", please bear in mind that being asked to stop making jokes makes me feel like Iceman in the first X-Men movie when his Mum asks him "Have you tried not being a mutant?"

Is my mouth moving? Then I am joking.