Thoughts at 2:38am

Ricky Ponting has just chopped one on from outside off and Australia have been reduced to 16 for 2. Go the Windies, I say. An Australian defeat in this particular game would indeed be a turn-up for the books.

Nobody ever specifies which books, mind. The saying sort of seems to implys record books - and books, plural - so what sort of range of publications do you think we're talking about here? Does it sort of run the full gamut from the dry, statistically accurate but tough to read Turn-Ups: 1974-1999 and all the way through to the more gripping personal memoirs, such the entertaining sexed-up science of I Didn't See That Coming: My Life Among The Turn-Ups? But implications aside, perhaps they are allocated to any old books, these turn-ups that are judged surprising enough to pass the literative threshold. The very term seems to suggest a certain style of dated or period writing really - a particularly English thing perhaps? Five Have Quite the Turn-Up? The sentence "Peter Rabbit had certainly had quite the turn-up" seems somehow natural, but maybe that's because it sounds a lot like "Peter Rabbit had certainly had quite the turnip", and what with Peter Rabbit being a rabbit and all, that makes a certain amount of gastronomic sense. A children's book thing then? But no, I can see a scene wherein the village policeman arrives in the butcher's shop or something, and with a shake of the head informs a few of the local characters "Bit of a turn-up at the manor. Seems some depraved individual's staved Lord Fauntlington's 'ead in wif a tandem bicycle. 'Orrible business." Yes, an Agatha Christie novel - A Turn Up For The Vicar, perhaps, or maybe just Poirot Turns Up.

Martyn gone! 45/3. Damn the lack of television coverage. But the cricket reminds me of my original - hmmm, I don't want to say point, since that would hardly be accurate - let's go with my original musings, which if I follow what I was on about (difficult task though it may be), would mean that the particular potential cricketing book-worthy turn-up would, if shoved into the Christie book, seem a little out of context:

"Constable Higgins! The usual 3 pounds of brisket, is it?"
"Not today, thank you 'Enry. There's been a bit of a turn-up up at the manor."
"Old Fauntlington misplaced some more of 'is sheep again, then? La-dee-da."
"It's much more serious than that I'm afraid, 'Enry. Seems Ricky Ponting's played on for 1. The Australians are in early trouble chasing 234 against the West Indies."
"But Australia are the undisputed number one side in the world! And West Indies were scuttled by Sri Lanka in their last game for only 80!"
"Don't I know it, 'Enry! 'Orrible business."

Since I never seem to come across many passages like this when reading, it seems whichever books people are sticking turn-ups in, they're obviously obscure and tricky to find ones. Or maybe they're not, but you just don't notice them, because books are the natural environment of turn-ups. Perhaps next time I come across something surprising in whatever I'm reading, I'll try remarking "Well, this is certainly a turn-up for real life!" to myself to see how wrong it feels.

It should be clear to anyone reading this by now that it's time I go to sleep.

Here first however is one minute of set-up for 3 seconds of very funny, very nerdy Star Wars humour. I think how hard you laugh depends on whether you are the kind of person who knows who Bo Shek, Nien Nunb and Salacious Crumb are (and thinking about it, I regard 2 of those 3 as really easy ones. As far as depth goes, my own Star Wars nerdery is a deep, cold, inky black pool).

And now to bed.