"The first casualty of war is salty snacks"
- Me, just now
Well, another night shift rolls on, in a slow and painful manner - it rolls on like the building blocks of Stonehenge rolled as some poor bastards dragged them 200 miles from Wales. (Thanks Eddie.) I can honestly say that I might have gone my entire life without playing a game of Freecell if I hadn't taken employment here at Armoursnore. (I feel to use the word 'guard' in our name is almost false advertising in a way.) A new position has been initiated recently here, and essentially it consists of the solitary duty of sitting by a phone and waiting for it to ring. So far, (4 hours) it just hasn't. Katrina, the girl who has been given this onerous task for tomorrow night, plans to bring in a duvet and pillow when she comes to work and go to sleep on the hygenically questionable cafe couch with the phone next to her head.
We are Excitement Central. Even little old frail ladies with medical pendants seem to be in cheeringly good health all over the nation.
A couple of corrections must be made, by me, for the world:

1) People should stop spelling the word 'weird' as 'wierd'. The only people that seem to be able to get this right are me and the dictionary. I haven't seen anyone do it recently but I can feel another occurrence coming on, waiting to leap up off a page or screen and incense me. (Thanks Sara for putting the word 'incense' in my head today with the following: " Arrghhh! Do you know why they call it incense? Because it incenses me." Ooooh, homonym. Nice one.)
{A pause in the corrections here to give thanks to the almighty 'Back' button. If you need to know why, ask me}
The Special 'Where Was the Proof Reading?' Award this week goes to Tim, who spelt 'new' with a 'k'. And I don't mean 'newk' (Although this should undoubtedly be a word. Possibly some kind of radioactive lizard.)

2)Everyone who is feeling all smug in a 'Oh, Ben could have scored that girl at Sammy's on New Year's' should stop immediately. Nice that you all get really excited when a strange girl so much as talks to me, friendly of you to all drunkenly encourage me so much, (and even thrust money in my direction) endearing that you think I might actually have it in me to accomplish something like that - bloody annoying when you all think that I was an idiot for somehow not getting anywhere, intensely irritating when I am being asked about it by people who weren't there, explaining the reality of the situation, and have other people next to me shaking their heads and moving their mouths in big silent 'No's as if I was 5 years old.
There were 2 people in the conversation, her (Amy) and me. I think this pretty much means that I know what was going on, drunk as I was, and you're all talking bollocks. Which is nice of you in a way. But let's face facts people, 'scoring', in the time-honoured meeting someone then getting their phone number or better the same night is not something I am likely to accomplish - not in the drunken conversation fashion. so we'll hear no more of this tomfoolery.
I may move on to stalking yet, but we'll see how I feel :)