July 10, 2014

Eine kleine nachtblog

I wished regularly being awake at all hours of the morning would result in some kind of increased productivity or advantage. If I recall correctly, the villain in the last terrible Pierce Brosnan film (Toby Stephens, now captaining a pirate ship) paused in his fencing of Madonna (what a terrible film) long enough to attribute his vast wealth and success due to the competitive advantage he enjoyed from always being awake (because of the Cuban regeneration technology and yes, look shut up, it's just not very good). All I seem to have to show for it though is a few posts in this thing – in which most posts have almost certainly deposited after the hour of midnight – some increased electricity bills, and a statistically lowered life expectancy. Hurray! (Do I have this thing? Yeah, I have pondered previously that it sounds about right; definitely one of these, anyway.)

Things I should surely have achieved by now with all the hours of my not-sleeping:

1) Learning a language – say English, perhoops.
2) Tidying up any loose ends in unified field theory.
3) Mastering the bouzouki. 
4) Making millions in the easy-money world of Forex trading (it starts with as little as a hundred dollars, don't you know).
4) Becoming a world chess champion.
5) Training an unholy army of owls to carry out my secret and vicious nighttime bidding.
6) Noticing the two number 4s.

What have I got from those designated sleeping hours as an alternative to sleep, though  – a few blog posts written, and a few hundred thousand virtual enemy combatants gunned/hacked/run/smacked down? Ah well.

To be fair, it's possible that in order to get the no-sleep advantage, you need to be compelled to stay up by some force that has a bit more chutzpah and drive to it than "A vague distaste for the concept of going to bed" does.

I should post this and get to bed, but urgh.

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