YES! I called it. Mindtaking!

Hey! England didn't make the final, and we did win the Tri-Series! (See a couple of posts ago.)

It just suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't wrung any mileage out of my 100 percent accurate prediction. So: all hail me. Also, my brother was there, at Lords, watching us kick arse. The lucky bastard. Nice one, bruvva.

My next sure to be just as accurate predictions:

George Bush will step down as president, citing his own low IQ score as the reason. His replacement, Dick Cheney, will immediately demand the U.S destroy its stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction, which are clearly an immediate threat to itself. Cheney refuses to submit to a bullying representative of a large power like himself, and won't negotiate with a terrorist like himself either, and so against the wishes of the UN, the U.S is left with no option but to declare war on the U.S, and everything it stands for. Millions of young Americans are drafted, and are then immediately ordered to shoot themselves.

Germany to rebuild the Berlin Wall, this time running East / West. Millions will be trapped, unable to reach their loved ones, in the newly formed Communist state of North Germany, under the iron-heeled if remote rule of Fidel Castro. North Korea splits into North Korea and North North Korea in solidarity.

BP will reveal and market their water-powered car, which will cost NZD $39.95, is made exclusively from recycled guns, and repletes the ozone layer. The only down side of the otherwise flawless design is that the car will explode when it comes within 500,000 kilometres of a whaling ship. The entire world exerts massive political pressure on Japan and Norway. The two countries amalgamate in an effort to pool their resources and help each other survive worldwide sanctions, but the nation of Japway agrees to end whaling unconditionally 17 minutes later.

New Zealand will win the gold medal in every event in which it is competes at Athens, with a world record performance each time. We will then be awarded the gold medals from the rest of the events as well, "...just for being so darned great."

The Pope, after pondering the matter, will declare contraception "...a pretty sensible idea, if you think about it." Bearing ongoing operating costs in mind, he will then go on to liquidate the financial assets of the Catholic Church internationally, and use them to alleviate suffering, based on: "...the principles of this Jesus bloke I've been reading about."

The terrorist organisation Al-Quaeda makes a press statement that its actions so far have "...all been a terrible misunderstanding" and that is henceforth to be known as the 'Al-Quaeda International Sewing Circle'. Several hitherto undiscovered cells of the organisation in the UK and mainland Europe are revealed when their members come to public attention after they venture forth to purchase crochet hooks.

After millennia of being dormant, waiting for their chance to strike, the Fishpeople of Atlantis rise from the ocean depths in overwhelming numbers to reclaim their place as rightful rulers of the planet. Fortunately, just as they are doing so, the Martian invasion force arrives. Each seeing each other as a far greater threat than the puny human race, the two sides emabark on a terrible conflict for Earth, and wipe each other out to the last man-like being with the most horrible weapons conceivable. The total cost to humanity is that three tea-towels belonging to an Argentinian woman are scorched slightly when a Martian / Fishman battle occurs outside her house, and she inadvertently leaves her kitchen window open.

Elvis Aron Presley, a.k.a The King, will crash a UFO into the Loch Ness Monster during half time at the F.A. Cup final at Wembley Stadium. In front of 90,000 fans, Elvis will clearly be heard singing 'Only The Lonely' as he heroically steers his craft into the monster as it attempts to streak out onto the field, thus preventing red faces for inadequately prepared ground security staff. A quick on-site reverse engineering assessment of the downed spaceship by Liverpool goalkeeper Chris Kirkland will immediately uncover the secret of faster-than-light travel. Kirkland will then go on to save a penalty in the second half, but Putteridge High will still beat Liverpool 3-2 to take the title.

Tim will submit a thesis, and I will get a fantastic girlfriend.

Hmmm, it's late; perhaps I'm getting outlandish.
Bed.