This entry marks a couple of historic precedents.

It is the first time that my already thought-out thought - that of writing this thing as a notepad file at home on the recently obtained 486, and then transferring it on a disk to a computer with an internet connection - has been acted upon. This has happened due to a happy coincidence of circumstances, whereas A: I felt like writing something, and B: me bruva Dan has eloped for the evening to his girlfriend's abode, meaning the room with a computer in it lacks a bed with him in it, as would normally be the case. While we're here, did you know both my brothers have red-headed girlfriends whose first names begin with an 'S'? As soon as Gwynneth Paltrow gets a dye job and changes her name to Sgwynneth (as in: "'oos that then?" "Sgwynneth"), I am IN...but I digress. (Quelle surprise). If you are reading this it means this idea has proved spectacularly more successful than both the 'osmosis from brain to screen' AND the 'sit on your arse and do nothing' methods of website updating.

It also marks my first attempt to type with semi-ours Gus the cat sitting on my lap. This has been proving difficult for both myself and my feline colleague. It would seem the great Augustus (Gustinator, Gusto, Asparagus, Gussy Gussy Gander, Christopher Columgus - make up your own, the whole family can play) can only get comfortable by resting his stripy orange head on my left arm, which has reduced my left hand to the following letters - a,z,s,d,x,c and if I strain here - f. This makes typing very slow, and capitals especially a bitch. It took 5 minutes just to type 'AND' up there, and 5 minutes just then as well, and don't even think about the time I'm wasting typing out the fact that I'm wasting time, because this can only lead to the implosion of the universe, much like when two Ginsu knives meet (they're indestructible and can cut through anything - "slice through an aircraft carrier or a small African nation and still dice tomatoes like this!" - so what happens when they meet? Universe implosion I tells ya. Or at the very least the same effect as crossing the streams in 'Ghostbusters', which is I believe your city being covered in steaming marshmallow. Yes, madam, the clash of 2 Ginsus DOES result in your city being covered in steaming marshmallow, it IS in fine print at the bottom of the ad...if you'd followed the instructions on the package to duck and cover, your husband would still have a full head of hair to this day...my, but this bracket has raged out of control) so best to ignore me for the safety of the cosmos. At any rate, as the Big Red Gus Service is the world's friendliest cat (TM), I am prepared to put up with this impediment.
Ironically (it was like 10,000 spooons when all I needed was a knife. Honestly, you couldn't even begin to imagine the irony) in the length of time it took to type out that description of my typing poblem, Gus has decided that much like the cat of Kipling (who names their child 'Rudyard', anyway? And as Nic, Teena and I were saying earlier this evening, who names their daughter 'Stockard', as in 'Channing'? And furthermore, if this trend continues, how long before two rugbyhead parents dub their first-born son 'Hardyard'?), he is: "...the cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to [him]. And he walked out into the wild wet woods, [or in this case our driveway, after I opened the door] and was alone for a while." (Do you like Kipling? I don't know, I've never kippled...ahahahahahaaaaa, ahhhh, forget it.) At any rate typing pace returns to normal.

Ah, but the question is, have I anything of value to actually say? Yes, there is the odd tidbit.
Here then, we have the necessary and overdue, ahem,. 'shoutouts'. To all my, er, homies, as it were. (Or perhaps my 'peeps', I'm not sure...what's phat in the 'hood these days? Oh my God, I put an apostrophe in front of hood... I am soooo white.)

First, Mark; where the hell are you, how are you, and other general inquiries of that nature? I made your 'friends' page (thanks :), which meant I was high enough on the scale, and I haven't seen you for bloody ages, arrgghh, how embarrassing. Time to go to a movie or for someone to have a party which we mutually attend, or something.

Secondly, Andrew. How's Canada? You'll be pleased to see I've avoided stories of banal movies and television (oh, everyone that doesn't should watch 'Scrubs', always listen to Ben) to instead tell stories of my banal life. Episode 2 NEXT WEDNESDAY NIGHT, (EEEEEEEEEEE, try to imagine this as a 13 year old girl at a Westlife concert might do it) I'll let you know my impressions (or perhaps I'll just post them right here! I'm so crazy that way).

Thirdly, Leland. Just to let you know another e-mail outlining my plans for the VIOLENT OVERTHROW OF THE GOVERNMENT will hopefully be sent sooner rather than later. And get yorself down to Chch some time again soon.

James T, I hear you read these occasionally. I demand your postal address. E-mail will also hopefully be forthcoming to you, promises promises, although yours may differ to that sent to Leland - we'll be overthrowing the UK government for a kick off. Other details such as your name and sock colour may appear different to the product illustrated, but don't complain, or else everybody will want one.

Lastly God, who is always with us, and without whom this album would not be possible. Not because he helps or inspires me, but because every single recording studio in the world is located in a Christian country. No, don't laugh, it's a fact!*

And now, a thought, or train thereof.
There's been some heavy CD listenage by me recently after I decided that damnit, if you're going to spend a small fortune on CDs, you really should try and play each of them at least once in a while, as opposed to say once imeediate following purchase, and then perhaps once more later as mood music while you wait for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to get round to your house. This of course becomes a problem when you have too many CDs and not enough time. At the moment I think I have a manageable number of CD to time available ratio, but I have decided that I need a Discman, for what better time to get some listening in then when you are walking or cycling somewhere, listening to nothing in particular? I was getting by with a walkman but this is NO LONGER sufficient. Thus I have embarked on a quest to get a Discman (more difficult than you might think, as my spending money totals around 90 cents at the moment. More stoic heroism than that necessary for a simple trip to K Mart will be involved). It's the car stereo for people without a car, and indeed, the car stereo for many people who DO have cars The only downside in using your travel time to listen to music is that your quality internal monologue time may be eaten into. But your brain whisperings (here's a question: ever had thoughts about your brain, or your thought processes? Yes? Doesn't this mean your brain is getting itself to think about itself? Does ths the brain in fact a vain, attention seeking, glory-hogging bastard? No? Don't catch yourself thinking about the day-to-day operation of your pancreas too often though, do you?) do get replaced by music, which as we all know, is good, so good in fact that it is probably the most universally liked thingy there is, outstripping even, er, see, there's nothing to touch it, everyone likes it.
To quote what David Wood said to me in his inimitable fashion as we wandered along somewhere a few years back (David! Hello to you also if you are reading), music is in fact "...a thing that is so good, that if it didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent it". Which is totally and completely right.
The moral of the story: you should listen to your old CDs. You bought them for a reason. Don't give me that, you did.

Well that's about it for this particular effort, save noting that for some reason I composed the last paragraph with my jacket pulled up over my head. Not sure why, but it is 5:47am so that might explain it.
Oh, and let me just say that no video game I had played before tonight had required me to rescue baby whales, eat fish, head butt sharks and get turtles to follow me in an attempt to save the Earth from an alien menace. Take a bow Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future. (No, really. He has 100 different acrobatic dolphin kung-fu styles. Oh yeah. Also, dolphins travel through space in bubbles. What? It could happen...)

Right then.

*Disclaimer: this statement is not necessarily in line with the opinion of sane people.